Have you ever sat down, after living and experiencing life a little bit, and thought about the things you’d NEVER accept from someone? We call them deal breakers. I legit update my list after every break up lol. They’re supposed to be the factors we can’t accept about someone that cause us to pretty much, break the deal. But, if you are human, breathing & ever had any type of relationship I know you’ve negotiated them at least once.
Time passes, someone new woo’s you and next thing you know you’re dealing with the SAME stuff you swore you never would again. But why? How? What made you give in? I can think of a million and one reasons I’ve done it – albeit not all good reasons – but these are the top five I see the most:
1. I’m Alone, so why not?
Loneliness is the biggest reason we ease up on our deal breakers in relationships. We sacrifice our desires for the sake of having a ‘person.’ But if they aren’t truly the person for you, it still won’t work and you’ll be lonely all over again. & if you try to force it just imagine trying to make a puzzle piece fit that doesn’t belong – you usually end up just ruining the piece. & its just stressful. #TIRED
I swear, when they say an idle mind is the devils playground, they really mean it. When you feel bored, find ways to fill your time that benefit YOU and don’t require other people. Using other people to fill your boredom is a surefire way to disaster because your fulfillment shouldn’t depend on anyone else.
3. They aren’t YOUR deal breakers.
We let our friends and family have too much say so in our lives sometimes. The only person who truly knows what’s best for you, is you. Own your life! Just because your bestie only dates men who make over six figures doesn’t mean you have to. You may be fine being the primary bread winner in your relationship – & that is 100% okay. 🙂
4. But They’ll Change!
The time that is wasted on waiting for someone to change… Oyyy. I’ve said this before, but we cannot expect people to be someone they are not. You’re in the wrong, not the other person, if you constantly want something they have SHOWN you they can’t or just won’t provide.
5. I’m getting OLDER.
The saddest thing to see is an amazing woman lower her standards because she feels she’s running out of time. What’s for you is for you, no matter where you are in life. I’ve dealt with this thought process. & each time I look back on when I dropped my standards because I thought I had to rush, I didn’t end up settling down. Just let down.
So, the next time you find yourself questioning your deal breakers, really think about the reason you had them in the first place. Make sure you aren’t choosing to lose by choosing to love. ♥
It’s nothing wrong with compromising, just don’t let your heart be the only thing compromised in the end.
What are your top deal breakers? What happened the last time you let one go? Share with us!